TODAY - BritainWelsh scholar and philosopher Argyle MacDoogle released his Vacuum Theory on Thursday last. The name refers to the theories foundational thought that, 'life sucks, and then you die.'
MacDoogle tirelessly researched the subject of problems and their relationship to life before stumbling upon what he considers a 'basic and fundamental truth'.
MacDoogle, "I was searching for a cure to the ailment that most plagues mankind. I feel that stress has been overshadowed by lesser problems which are solely the symptom of the the original cause. If one could diagnose why stress exists and the reason as to why it must be a proverbial thorn in the side then one could begin to understand its nature and uproot it, if you will."
MacDoogle first conducted experiments on himself when there was a lack of volunteers who wished to subject themselves to additional problems in their life. Comments MacDoogle, "When research studies are conducted on experimental drugs or dangerous procedures volunteers line up. This in comparison to the lack of willingness of the populous to participate in my study is evidence itself of the toll stress and problems take on a person. I began there and built on that by surveying citizens from all classes, creed and colors to find out what problems they most tried to avoid. I then flung myself into situations that proposed these very same problems."
His experimentation led to his simple but profound Vacuum Theory. He is currently finishing his dissertation on the theory to be presented to the Nobel Prize Board for judgement. MacDoogle expects quite seriously to bring home the trophy.
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